August 21, 2009
Welcome to Beyond Twelve
Gates. When asked 'How are you?', how do you
respond? If you're like
many people you'll answer with a relatively
uninspired 'I'm fine,
thanks.' However, the question of 'How are you?'
opportunity to influence our own feelings in a
positive way. When is
the last time you said, 'I'm fantastic today",
or 'Things are getting
better and better all the time', or 'Just terrific'
when asked how you
are? What we say plays a significant role in
emotions we feel. Even if you don't feel great,
these type of statements will help you feel better.
Deuteronomy 16:18 - 21:9
Moses proceeds to review the
regulations necessary for a civilized society. Local
judges and officers were
to be appointed in every city, and justice was to be
righteously and impartially. Imagine life without a
justice and without police!
When the Jewish people request a
king, the king was not to misuse his power to amass
many horses or
maintain a harem or accumulate great wealth. To
his priorities he should write a copy of the Torah
and carry it with him so
he would be G-d fearing and Torah-observant.
Aspects of the nation's conduct
in war are mentioned. The Jewish people are told
not to be afraid of
the enemy, not to destroy any fruit trees in battle,
and that they should first
give the enemy a chance to make peace. The parsha
also forbids all
forms of superstition and 'magic' practiced by the
have no need for such tricks, because of our true
prophets and faith in
Two of the most
difficult words to say in the English language are
(three, if you don't use the contraction). Is
A boy was sent by his
mother to the grocery for a dozen eggs. On the way
home he fell, causing
the eggs to splatter on the sidewalk. Sadly, the
boy burst into
tears. Those who walked by felt sorry for him.
something happened to dry the boys tears. A woman
said, 'I'm sorry a
dime.' A man picked up on that and said, 'I'm sorry
quarter.' A child chimed in with, 'I'm sorry a
joined in until the boy had enough change to return
to the store for
another dozen eggs.
Sorry, alone, is
rarely enough. Sorry needs to be acted upon. The
are coming; let's make up with those we've offended
over the course
of the year, and avoid the Yom Kippur rush!
Warm up your radio this coming
Sunday, August 23. Rabbi Smason will be interviewed
on KMOX 1120 at
2:40 pm on Monica Adams' 'Health and Fitness Show'.
will be discussing his upcoming 'Rabbi Ride-Around'
50 mile bike ride at
Forest Park. Want to join Rabbi Smason on the
trail? Care to be a
per-mile sponsor? Contact us via email or through
Quote of the
There are no illegitmate
children -- only illegitimate parents.
Leon Yankwich (U.S. District Judge, 1928)
Joke of the
The sobbing 8 year old girl at
the customer service desk had been seperated from
(grandmother) while shopping. "What's your
name, young lady?', the
man behind the desk asked. Through tear stained
the girl said, 'My name is....Shaina Punim Poo Poo
Poo.' Baffled, the man said, ' What did you say
your name was?' Again the girl said, 'Shaina Punim
Poo.' Picking up a microphone, the man announced
store: "We have a young girl by the name of
'Shaina Punim Poo Poo
Poo' at the Customer Service desk. Will her
grandmother please come
to meet her?'
Within 3 minutes, there were 12
nervous Jewish grandmothers at the Customer Service
Thanks for reading 'Beyond Twelve
Gates'. Comments, questions, requests to be added to our
list or better jokes can be sent to Pepshort613@sbcglobal.net
Care to know more about Nusach Hari Bnai
Zion Congregation? Check us out at www.nhbz.org If you
enjoyed Beyond Twelve
Gates, please share
with a friend. Thanks to Alan Haber for his assistance in