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2002-10-17 All MinyanMen Humor by Off the Internet - submitted by menachem
Top Ten Most Popular Skipped parts of Davening
Ok, so this is not a Parsha...but read on!!!

Top Ten Most Popular Skipped parts of Davening

10- Atoh Yotzarta on Shabbos Rosh Chodesh. If you're looking quizzically at the screen and muttering "What's that?" you're only proving my point.

9- Ve'yehi Noam on Motzaei Shabbos. Saturday nights- so much to do, so little time.

8- Be'rich Shemei before krias haTorah. My Aramaic just isn't what it used to be. Besides, it's much easier to wait until they start singing from " bei, bei ana rachitz..." and enthusiastically join in at that time.

7- Bameh Madlikin on Friday Night. Long. Very long.

6- The 2nd Yekum Purkan on Shabbos morning. Even the first is stretching it. Proper procedure is actually to space out for several minutes and then begin "vechol mi she'oskim betzarchei tzibbur be'emunah..." in a loud, sing-song voice.

5- Pitum Haketores on Shabbos morning. Kind of gets lost in the shuffle between Ain K'elokeinu, Anim Zemiros and the shul president's best wishes for a refuah sheleima to Mrs. Kleinbard.

4- Ana B'koach during Kabbalas Shabbos. If you were really supposed to say it, the siddurim would have it in normal sized print. Extra credit here for annoyingly invoking the Miami Boys Choir classic to these words in a just-audible hum before moving on seamlessly to Lecha Dodi.

3- Korbanos before Pesukei D'zimra. My second cousin twice removed claims to have once met someone who had a relative who's neighbor knew someone who said them. But I'm not sure I believe him.

2- Vehu Rachum on Mondays and Thursdays. For those who just can't seem to get enough Tachanun, there's this twice-weekly special. For the rest of us, there's usually something lying around on the table to read.

1- The Shir Shel Yom on Wednesday. Talk about a midweek crisis. Why can't every day be Tuesday?